November 22, 2006

• Notables

  • To Teme:  Happy Birthday!  Would you mind celebrating just a little longer?  Because I didn’t know until just now that it all happened four days ago.

  • To Kaz:  Fifty is reasonably nifty.  You’ll see.

  • To the execs at ShowTime:  You guys are four or five bricks short of a load.  I can’t BELIEVE you canceled “Huff”  before I even realized it was on the air!  Somebody gave me the first season DVDs and GAWD!  No WONDER it won Emmys......it’s fantastic!  The casting is superb and the story line is sublimely entertaining!  Yeah, I know.  Sublime entertainment is probably too novel an idea for a TV Show.  Harumph.  You are PUTZES.  And PRINCES of SCHLOCK!   So there!  (Except for “Weeds.” )

  • To the execs at SONY:  So when in the hell are you gonna release the second and apparently final season of “Huff?”  Because I WANT IT RIGHT NOW!!

  • To the person who coined the phrase “Easy as Pie:”  Speaking of putzes, it has become rather obvious to me over the years that you never actually made a pie crust from scratch.  It’s the transfer, see?  From the board where you roll it out to the pie plate.  Other than that part, I guess pie-making is a piece of cake.

  • To all the retailers who feel moved by the spirit of greed to keep sending me email and flyers:  Stop, cease, and desist!  My Christmas shopping is fini!   Got it?   Go away!

  • To the UPS guy who’s been delivering my Christmas shopping:  Bet you never thought we’d become such good friends, did you?  Yeah, I know it’s a helluva long drive out here to Toad Hall, but it’s Al Gore’s fault, not mine.

  • To Tom Waits:  WHOO HOO!  Thanks for the new CD set!  And  hey!  Don’t wait so long to cut the next one, Tom!   Regardless of your comments about keeping fans hungry, THIS fan needs to be fed more often!

  • To Buster Kitty:  Speaking of being fed, no, I am not going to feed you anything else.  You should’ve told me that you weren’t in the mood for salmon before I opened the can.  Now get off my keyboard and go eat whut’s in your dish.

  • To my brother-in-law’s crazy wife:  See if you can keep your mouth shut tomorrow about 17-year-olds having bi-racial babies, willya?  Yeah, she’s totally fudked up her life, but whut’s done is done.  Let’s practice making each other feel GOOD for once.

  • To my frenetically Republican sister-in-law:  The discussion of politics at your mother’s Thanksgiving table is verbotten!  Dig?  Uh.....and we can’t talk about how everyone who isn’t a “Christian” is “lost,” either.  It’s postively hell on my digestive track when you start that stuff.

  • To all my stepgrandchildren:  Nobody CARES that you think Mamaw’s Oyster Dressing is icky, except Mamaw, whose feelings are hurt every year.  Yes, I’d rather eat SPAM, myself -- but instead of gagging at the sight of it, let’s all just eat whut we DO like.  Because it’s the polite thing to do, see?

  • To Princess Prissy, “THE KID” and your families:  I love you guys.....see you Saturday!

  • To Clyde & Nick Bodinski and your families:  I’ll miss you!  May your turkeys be tender and your pies divine!

  • To everyone I know, virtually and otherwise:  Peace, love, and Happy, Happy Turkey Day!  I shall spend it being thankful for all of you!  (Even the people who annoy me sometimes!  I promise!)

  xo,
  -Feef

  P.S.  Don't forget to watch the Macy's Day Parade!  It's really the best part of Thanksgiving, you know!

  
  A moment of silence for the Big Bird.

  P.P.S.  Happy Belated Birthday, Czarny!  I seem to be missing them left and right lately!

  
  

  
  

  • 12:23 pm
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