June 26, 2008

• Supreme Court: Can’t Execute Child Rapists?

      Whut the fudk is UP with that, anyway?  How can ANYONE honestly believe that raping a child is an offense that deserves a second chance? 

      And sorry, but Louisiana’s Conservative Gov. Bobby Jindal’s solution of castrating these offenders instead of killing them isn’t any better.

      The fact that this whole issue even exists has pissed me off royally -- not to mention causing me to ponder the possibilities/probabilities of some mighty peculiar sexual predilections among those esteemed folks in Washington who wander around in their robes all the time.  

  (Insert a few seconds here to meditate on that & tell me if you don't wonder, too.)

          Disclaimer:  But wait!  Lest I impart any inaccuracy, I firmly, wholly, and happily believe that
          other folks’ sexual predilections -- however strange they might seem to me -- are their own
          business and none of mine, with two exceptions:  I draw a big fat line with a giant Sharpie
          Permanent Marker when it comes to (1) messing around with an underage child, or (2) forcing
          pain on any human being for the sole purpose of any sort of self-gratification, real or imagined.
          Period. End of disclaimer.

      So anyway, after fuming around here for awhile, steam was rolling out my ears.  In an effort to cool off, I wrote this letter:

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      Your Supreme Honors,

              Your collective thinking is clearly less than supreme this time.  In fact, it's on a
      dead run for the the ass-end of civilized society.  Get a grip, for Chrissakes.

      -Fact:  Pedophiles, like serial killers, cannot be "cured" or "fixed."  No how, no way.
      (Well, perhaps with a Total Lobotomy.  But then we taxpayers would have to cough up
      the dough to pay someone to change lifetimes of diapers.  Face it, that's a really crappy idea.)
        
      -Fact:  Chemical Castration does NOT alter an adult human's sexual desires. Why?  Because
      sexual arousal starts in the brain, you dorks!  Even physical castration does not necessarily
      change adult sexual desires.  Either option merely means that his or her private equipment is
      jammed up for any sexual activity.  But the brain still works and the "want" lingers on.

      -Fact:  You can lead a pedophile to water, but you can't make him swallow his goddamm
      chemical castration pills.  Hell, you can't even make him PAY for his goddamm chemical
      castration pills.  Furthermore, after he/she has been out of jail for awhile and learned that
      living as a “registered sexual offender” is a risky and miserable way to live, there’s a 99.5
      percent chance that the dude/dudette has acquired a new name and headed for parts unknown.  
      How you gonna make him take a pill if you can’t find him?

      -Fact:  Sexual desires/preferences in the human adult are some seriously powerful sons-of-
      bitches.  More powerful than a locomotive, or the waters of Hoover Dam, etc. etc.  So even
      if you find a way to successfully and permanently jam up a dude's physical equipment, sexual
      crimes ain't gonna stop.

      (Good GAWD, y’all!  Ever watch any Cable TV up there in DC?  Ain't y'all never heard
      of assaults with dildos, broom handles, tree branches, glass bottles, baseball bats, table legs and
      various other objects too imaginatively numerous &  painful to contemplate?  If it hurts to think
      about it, that's because it oughta', you morons!  And it just ain’t right, no matter how long you
      think on it!)

      -Obvious Conclusion:  Some humans -- pedophiles, repeat offender rapists, and serial killers --
      are broken and should not be allowed to live around around other humans.  Perhaps they are
      broken through no fault of their own, which is an indescribably sad and regretful thing for any
      human being.  Nevertheless, I repeat, they are permanently and irrevocably broken.
    
      So until and unless we find an infallible cure, either lock these people up & throw away the
      key, or else fry 'em already and put a permanent end to this absurd debate.  Sheesh.  All you
      cowardly codksudker politicians and self-annointed scholars have annoyed me beyond Zebra
      this time, goddammit. 

                                                                              Signed,

                                                                              Fifi O'Toole
                                                                              Generally liberal as heck and proud OF it,
                                                                              but hopefully NEVER liberally stoopid.

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      But then after I wrote it, because I generally AM self-professed bleeding-heart liberal, I had to stop for a second and consider:  People lie all the time, even kids.  Whut if the accused really isn't guilty?  Or whut if some brainless adult told a kid to lie?  Or whut if a kid identified the wrong dude?  Or lots of other things?

      Some time after I had considered all of the above, the following realization hit me: "Well, yeah -- guess we might make an occasional mistake.  But hey!  Great strides in forensics have helped eliminate a lot of errors.  And I just don't feel willing to take a chance with anyone's kid, you know?  Besides, whut the hell could any person’s life be worth with that kind of accusation hanging overhead?"

      So here's a proposition for you, dear readers:  If anyone ever accuses me of molesting a kid, or of intentionally causing pain and suffering to any innocent person regardless of age, load and unlock your trusty pistol (or your trusty rifle -- I ain't picky) and get yourself to Toad Hall to put me OUT of the stinking misery and disgrace that has become my life.  IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner!

      And I, in turn, shall promise to do the same for y’all.

      Okay, I’m all done with it now.  End of rant.

      Later! 

  • 9:48 pm
  • 6 Comments