July 16, 2008
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Honk If You’re Living A Life of Quiet Desperation
I saw a bumper sticker yesterday and immediately honked a long one.........and then opted to adopt it as my own personal slogan.
• Sweet (grrrr) 85-year-old Mother-In-Law banged right leg on flower pot and ignored the GAPING, FESTERING, and otherwise ugly black wound for 4 weeks before finally telling/showing me.
Just like she did LAST YEAR with the other leg!! This is not a good thing. We’re probably talking surgery & rehab here. Again. And daily trips to the other edge of the earth where her hospital is located.
• ”THE KID” got a divorce and his mom -- having a large clue about the emotional roller coaster he's currently riding -- worries, worries, worries about him constantly.
-No. He doesn’t call very often.
-Yes. I understand that it’s none of my business.
-No. It doesn’t stop me from being concerned while keeping my mouth firmly shut.
-Yes. He is a devoted dad and hangs out with his children frequently. Thank GAWD.
-No. I am not angry with his ex. I love her.• The price of gas is forcing me to seek employment. I believe I might find time to work between the hours of 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. on rainy Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Now if only I can find a dealer who sells Meth on one of those "90-days-to-pay" bases.........
• My insurance company kicked my doctor off their list of “preferred” physicians. Choices for a new doctor do not include anyone whose name I can pronounce. (I’m seriously thinking foreign conspiracy here........anybody with me on this?)
• The prices of groceries and kitty litter have risen beyond zebra. See bullet about price of gas above. So now I live on peanut butter and my cat is constipated.
• I looked out the kitchen window and spied approximately 47 Mexicans climbing around in two lovely old Toad Hall Oak Trees and one stinky Toad Hall Ginko Tree. Somewhut alarmed, I dashed outside to ask “WHY?” Seems the power company sent them to trim limbs away from the lines.
After I pointed out that the trees were not even CLOSE to any live power lines, the Mexicans retreated. Still, I ponder: Whut if I hadn’t been HOME? Hay-suse! I’d have naked trees!• That old damnable bastard -- Arthur Itis -- is causing my thumbs to scream with pain this summer. And not be able to open important things like JIF and Chapstick.
• My face continues relentlessly to slide off my skull as I age. But if I paint all my mirrors black, I won't be able to tweeze those silly little eyebrow hairs that keep wandering down to my chin.
By now you are probably thinking, "Holy Shidt! Isn't there any GOOD news from Toad Hall?"
Well, it just so happens that there is! At the psychological age of 116, I still have all of my very own teeth.
See?
Comments (8)
I hope I look that good at 116.
HONK! HONK!
Always so great to see you, Feef. Sending hugs on the stressful parts. Someone once said to me that parents are as happy as their least happy kid. Seems to me to be so true. Wishing the very best to The Kid. Very sorry that you and he are going through this (I don't think there's any way for a parent not to go through it, too). Here's to better times (and lower gas prices and better rules to reign in those *$#&&$@ health insurance companies) ahead.
Hi Feef -- thanks so much for dropping by! I got paranoid about blogging with my actual name and realized I should have made up something that could never be traced to me like LizardKing or FitnessBabe. In any case, it is always great to see you and I always enjoy your blog and sense of humor!
^ LOL at Teme too. You guys both make me laugh. Why can't she just start a new blog a la FitnessBabe?
I'm sorry about The Kid. I wondered about your absence. Funny how it's usually one of THEM.
RYC: It's really all about the last 30 seconds of his lecture.
I am so bad... I thought I commented on this. Sorry The Kid is going through this. Its a tough world out there, and
losing something you expected to last forever is just not fair...
Glad you were around to save your trees. I do hope you called the power company and told them what happened? So maybe they can explain it in Spanish to these guys next time ?!
I feel ya on Arthur.... my knees are screaming with all the storms coming through... as far as your hands, have you tried using one of those silicon hot pads to open with ? they give a little extra traction and help lots.
And you can't have 22 until the family room is occupiable. Then I might consider letting you borrow him! LOL
OH! How is your mother in law doing?
Yikes! When the 'lectic company sends their butchers out to clear the lines, what they do should be considered criminal, at least from an aesthetic standpoint.
ryc: KY isn't that far away, ya got a helmet?
I, too, am perplexed at all the hairs coming out of strange places on my head and face. When I was a teen, I wanted facial hair. My foot hurts and I can't find my teeth.