FifiOToole's Xanga

Dear Featured Grownups,

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:58:04 GMT

Sigh.

"I am the one who" forgot to do the White Rabbit topic until it was too late.

But maybe that's because in reality I am not a grownup at all.

Well -- except for my hat size.

For Sadie

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:38:53 GMT

Goodbye, sweet girl.

You were the best of friends.

You were my confidant.

You kissed my tears away when the two of us said goodbye to Lin and Diablo.

I miss your Sadie kisses....I miss your Sadie snorts.

I hate getting a whole bagel to myself.

I hate it that guests are no longer announced by excited Sadie yips.

I hate not hearing the pitter-patter of your little feet walking behind me everywhere I go.

I hate it that the house feels so empty without you.

But I know beyond any doubt how lucky I am to have been loved by you. The LUCKIEST! For sure.

And though I am ever so grateful that you don't hurt anymore, I don't think I will ever stop missing you.

You're a good dog, Sadie Doodle. I will always love you.

March 11: Thanks ever so much to all for the condolences & hugs. Some folks find it rather silly to grieve over a dog, so knowing that y'all "get it" is real special. I'm still waiting for colors to look bright again...

Chinese Toy Recall

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:49:01 GMT

Uh oh. This just in from Homeland Security!

Warning! Do NOT buy this toy!

Toad Hall at Twilight

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 16:33:08 GMT

Home is always the best place of all, yes?

Looking from the kitchen window toward LOO-uh-vulle.
That's the "Grandfather Tree" on the left...an ancient Norway Maple where
the birds come to feed every morning and evening.

Yeah, I know. There's a telephone pole in the middle. But far from spoiling the photo for me,
it tells of a long ago time when a sweet grandmother lived there in a trailer home and
welcomed a grandson who ran with joy to her front door every morning.

Thanksgiving already.

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:36:40 GMT

I Should Write Something Here....

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:31:52 GMT

.....after such a long silence.

But I cannot think of much to say. It's been a long chaotic summer.

However, I still have way cool grands.

Mace Windu appears to be protecting Cinderella from Darth Vadar....
......or possibly those notoriously Ugly Stepsisters.

Batman & Colonial Girl (or maybe Colonial Wench?)

Sleeping Beauty......awake

Sleeping Beauty dressed as Groucho Marx

Ads Nauseum Prayer

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:05:16 GMT

(Editor's Note: This is a first for me! Two "religious" entries in a row!)

And the Ads Nauseum winner is............

.......TV's own Billy Mays.

    Sweet Jaysus! I do not care WHUT he is selling, one word from this guy and I am LEAPING for the mute button on my remote.

    The dude is loud.

    TOO loud.

    MUCH too loud.



    Gosh. Wonder if he talks that way at home? I mean, is he always that EXUBERANT? Could it possibly be that is just the normal timbre of his voice?

    Wonder if he's married?

    Can you imagine waking up in the morning to someone screaming

"YOUR COFFEE'S READY DEAR!
I'VE GOT FIRST DIBS ON THE SHOWER!"

                        Dear Gawd, it's me, Feef. Please send Billy Mays to the moon and get him off my TV.
                        Because, hey. You already know he'd be able to phone home without a phone.
                                                                                                        -Amen.

Sunday Snackie

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:10:31 GMT

    Call me easily amused. Because I cannot resist posting this.

    A "top news story" today was all about some woman who found a crucifix in her bag of snackies. She was so excited that she rented a safe deposit box to store this phenomenon. She calls it "Cheesus."

    And no, I have no idea why this made the top news list since it is abso-fudking-lutely nothing that any of us needed to know. But hey! We're in the US of A, folks.   So everybody say "Amen!"

Jesus H. Christ on a Cheeto

Honk If You’re Living A Life of Quiet Desperation

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:24:26 GMT

    I saw a bumper sticker yesterday and immediately honked a long one.........and then opted to adopt it as my own personal slogan.

• Sweet (grrrr) 85-year-old Mother-In-Law banged right leg on flower pot and ignored the GAPING, FESTERING, and otherwise ugly black wound for 4 weeks before finally telling/showing me.

Just like she did LAST YEAR with the other leg!! This is not a good thing. We’re probably talking surgery & rehab here. Again. And daily trips to the other edge of the earth where her hospital is located.

• ”THE KID” got a divorce and his mom -- having a large clue about the emotional roller coaster he's currently riding -- worries, worries, worries about him constantly.
        -No. He doesn’t call very often.
          -Yes. I understand that it’s none of my business.
          -No. It doesn’t stop me from being concerned while keeping my mouth firmly shut.
          -Yes. He is a devoted dad and hangs out with his children frequently. Thank GAWD.
          -No. I am not angry with his ex. I love her.

• The price of gas is forcing me to seek employment. I believe I might find time to work between the hours of 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. on rainy Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Now if only I can find a dealer who sells Meth on one of those "90-days-to-pay" bases.........

• My insurance company kicked my doctor off their list of “preferred” physicians. Choices for a new doctor do not include anyone whose name I can pronounce. (I’m seriously thinking foreign conspiracy here........anybody with me on this?)

• The prices of groceries and kitty litter have risen beyond zebra. See bullet about price of gas above. So now I live on peanut butter and my cat is constipated.

• I looked out the kitchen window and spied approximately 47 Mexicans climbing around in two lovely old Toad Hall Oak Trees and one stinky Toad Hall Ginko Tree. Somewhut alarmed, I dashed outside to ask “WHY?” Seems the power company sent them to trim limbs away from the lines.

   After I pointed out that the trees were not even CLOSE to any live power lines, the Mexicans retreated. Still, I ponder:   Whut if I hadn’t been HOME? Hay-suse! I’d have naked trees!

• That old damnable bastard -- Arthur Itis -- is causing my thumbs to scream with pain this summer. And not be able to open important things like JIF and Chapstick.

• My face continues relentlessly to slide off my skull as I age.   But if I paint all my mirrors black, I won't be able to tweeze those silly little eyebrow hairs that keep wandering down to my chin.

    By now you are probably thinking, "Holy Shidt! Isn't there any GOOD news from Toad Hall?"

    Well, it just so happens that there is! At the psychological age of 116, I still have all of my very own teeth.

    See?

AP Plagiarism - Gasp!

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:33:05 GMT

    This is just too fascinating (not to mention incredibly annoying) not to share. Even if I really hate to fly these days, I still find that driving my car is occasionally a necessity, as I choose to live out here at the edge of the earth.

    In fact, sharing this informative piece of prose might even be worth getting smacked with a fine. (As long as it is not so steep that it takes food from the mouths of my critters.)

    Yeah, yeah -- it's kinda' long. But read it anyway, goddammit!

Posted: 2008-07-10 07:51:51

ATLANTA (July 10) - The chief executive officers of a dozen O.S. airlines, beset by record fuel costs that have caused several to cut jobs, reduce capacity and impose higher fees on customers, are now asking for their customers' help to curb the rise of oil prices.

They have co-signed a letter being sent to frequent fliers of their respective carriers, asking customers to contact Congress about the problem of market speculation, which they believe is driving up the price of oil.

"This pain can be alleviated, and that is why we are taking the extraordinary step of writing this joint letter to our customers," the letter states. A copy was received by The Associated Press on Wednesday.

Lawmakers have cited the problems high fuel prices cause airlines, trucking companies, farmers and consumers in calling for restrictions on speculative trading.

Northwest Airlines Corp. Chief Executive Douglas Steenland urged lawmakers in June to close loopholes that allow traders to dodge O.S. speculation limits by trading on foreign exchanges or through over-the-counter transactions.

"Our highest priority is to tackle the overall price of fuel which is now 40 percent of our cost pie," Steenland told lawmakers. "Addressing excessive speculation is the most immediate remedy Congress could deliver."

The letter from the airlines acknowledges that oil prices are partly a response to normal market forces, prompting a need for the country to focus on increased energy supplies and conservation.

"However, there is another side to this story because normal market forces are being dangerously amplified by poorly regulated market speculation," the letter says.

The letter says speculators buy up large amounts of oil and then sell it to each other again and again. The price goes up with each trade and consumers pick up the final tab. Some market experts estimate that current prices reflect as much as $30 to $60 per barrel in unnecessary speculative costs, the letter says.*

    *(The AP didn't bold & underline this part -- *I* did that.)

It adds that regulations established decades ago by Congress to control excessive market speculation have been weakened or removed over the years.

"We need your help," the letter to customers says. "Get more information and contact Congress."

It is signed by the CEOs of Northwest Airlines, AirTran Airways, Alaska Airlines, American Airlines, Continental Airlines, Delta Air Lines, Hawaiian Airlines, JetBlue Airways, Midwest Airlines, Southwest Airlines , United Airlines and US Airways.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Dunno about your neck of the woods,
but it was $4.29 a gallon here last
time I filled 'er up.

-----------------------------------

Other earth shaking news just in:

In Belmar, New Jersey, it is no longer illegal to flip the bird at people on the beach.

Hmmm. At least free speech isn’t being speculated..........