Woke up this morning with The Andrews Sisters harmonizing crazily through my head. I never did like those chicks much. They were always so chirpy and happy and sing-songey, you know?

And whut's worse is that they will NOT go away. GAWD! They sang nonstop through my first cup of coffee and my entire breakfast mini bagel. And they are STILL singing!

The tune is from someone else's lifetime -- circa WWII: "Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me, anyone else but me, anyone else but me, no - no - no....etc. etc.."

Except the words in my head are not the original words. They're even worse. The words I keep hearing go like this: "Sheriff John Paxton has taken his action and headed for parts unknown, headed for parts unknown, etc. etc. etc."

Whut fresh hell is THIS....and from whence did it come? And WHO the eff is Sheriff John Paxton?

(No, I did not watch any old movies last night. I dozed off reading Stephen KING, for crissakes!)

It's horribly embarrassing (and did I mention annoying as hell?) to have this sort of crap diddy-bopping around between my ears. If it has to be from someone else's lifetime, why couldn't it be Jimmie Rodgers? Or Bessie Smith??? Or Billie Holliday???

And why couldn't the WORDS make SENSE.....or at least be about someone I know?

GET OUT, I say!!! OUT!

1)  Three nights of insomnia followed by an afternoon with three cacophonious grands makes for a No-Fun, Grouchy, and Cantankerous Fifi.

2)  The horse who wins the Derby is never gonna be the one I bet on.

3)  Princess Prissy makes a damn fine meatloaf!  She obviously did not inherit her cooking skills from me.

4)  THE KID has a green thumb!  Who'd a thunk it?

5)  Bulldozers are still fascinating to little boys.  Some things never change....

6)  ....but apparently other things do, with age: Walking a mile or two on asphalt in these

makes every bone in my body start SCREAMING in agony about 10 minutes into the walk.  Not to mention the following day.  Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!  No wonder the Indians never paved their highways.

-Does anyone besides me like “Invasion” better than “Lost?”  Sigh.  I didn’t think so.

-Pictures of Lula and Richard Holly Tree will have to wait for a couple months.  She’s still taking meds for her leaf problems and doesn’t wish to be photographed until she is looking her Sunday best again.

-Sleep was evasive as hell last night.  Who knows why.

-In search of a sleep-alternate activity, almost finished reading Stephen King’s “Cell.”   Gawd, how I adore that man’s mind!

-Eyes are bleary as hell this afternoon.  For obvious reasons.

-Thought for the day:  In the event of eye bleariness and brain deadness, post pix from other photographers.

-Grand #10, Miss Genevieve the Charmer, is in town for a few days......WHOO HOO!  She’s the youngest of ‘em all -- at least until August -- but I hardly EVER get to see her because she lives in South Kackalackia with her parents.   Now all I have to do is figure out whut sort of bribe will win her affection long enough to get a hug.  Guess I oughta’ replace the beef jerky & dog biscuits in my pocket with something that smells better.  Mini muffins, maybe?

-Grands #9 & #8, respectively. 

Aidan the Pensive naps with eyes open while
IamLuke peruses his newest library book:

-Grand #6, Amazing Grace, Camera Bouncer Extraordinàire and Model for the newest thing in Burkhas (which is actually a pair of Capri Pants called momentarily into a far more fashionable sort of service):

-Amazing Grace again, with her mommy, the infamous Princess Prissy: 

More to come.  One of these dayz z z z zzzzzzzzz.........

√ •  Picked up Amazing Grace after school yesterday & had a delightful chat about (1) caterpillars turning into butterflies; (2) Monarch Butterflies flying all the way to Mexico; and (3) her school's upcoming Derby Parade. 

    Aside #1 from Editor:  Yes.  It is Derby Week.  Everyone in this neck of the woods is in and will continue to be in a total frenzy until after 6:03 p.m. on Saturday.  And did I mention that there are 800 THOUSAND tourists here?  Well, there are.

    Aside #2 from Editor:  Odd, isn't it, that Monarch Butterflies are trying to get INTO Mexico.  Wonder whut they know that we don't?

√ •  Cut asparagus every day so far....gave some away, cooked the rest & dined sublimely.  This is not the last you'll hear from me about asparagus, however.  At least not until the end of May when, according to some sort of farming law, I have to stop cutting it.  (When I told Lin that I loved the stuff, he planted 60 (!!) crowns.....which produces enuff to feed all the people in several third world countries.  And their livestock.)

    Disclaimer:  Fifi O'Toole would happily send asparagus to everyone who asked (as well as everyone who didn't) but it does have a tendency to become rather slimy in the mail.

√ •  Got the camera.  Now all I have to do is figure out how to use it.  (By the time that happens, I'm certain we shall all be much older.  I've already spent an hour reading instructions and all I've learned is how to charge the battery.)

    As for the rest of this week's list, I blew it all off for the time being and added different stuff.  This is not unusual behavior as I am an easily distracted sort.

    Yesterday's travels included being drawn by some mysterious force to drive by a nursery.  Except I didn't drive by, I drove in. 

     And spent money.

    So now I'm going out to plant perennials.  This planting thing is kinda' new to me, but I'm learning to like it a lot as long as I keep plenty of antihistamines in my back pocket for snacks.

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Comment to Autumnsend:  The infamous Xanga Bug has infliltrated  your site and I am forced to comment here:  Thanks for that helpful info on National Geographic!  Who knew?  I just put a call into my agent regarding earthquake insurance!

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Comment to Noppstar:  You are also infested with the Xanga Bug.  Orson Welles, George Clooney, and Sigmund Freud all share the anniversary of your birth.

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Change in plans:  Before planting the perennials, I'm off to buy large quantities of RAID.

Later!

 1)  Stop the %#*@)$^‡√±!! waffling and go purchase a digital camera. 

 2)  Cut the asparagus daily & wonder what to do with all of it.

 3)  Trash Norton Utilities, pleasantly but firmly.

 4)  Run down my elusive mechanic.  Literally.

 5)  Have broken left headlight repaired on The Batmobile.  ANYWHERE!

 6)  Get around to setting clocks to daylight time.  (Minus 10 minutes for extra motivation.)

 7)  Drive to edge of the earth on Tuesday to pick up Amazing Grace after school.  (Whoo HOO! First fun thing on the list!)

 8)  Take out a loan to buy gasoline for cars & mowers.

 9)  Put a voodoo hex on oil companies that recorded $8 BILLION in profits last year.

10) Drive to the other edge of the earth with Lexi to see vet for bloodwork & more anti-seizure meds.

11) Spend 9 hours & 15 minutes in vet's waiting room being miserably
embarrassed because Lexi is a racist and barks only at black dogs for
some unknown reason.

12) Don scuba attire, face mask & rubber gloves.  Eradicate poison ivy once & for all.

13) Restock pantry shelf with staples: (a) bagels & (b) pet food.

14) Sow seeds that grow those monster 15-ft. tall sunflowers.  Just because.

15) Dust off Christmas Decorations & put them away.

16) Wait for ship to come in.

17) Razz Kaz with appropriate photo below.

    No computer snow crash, thank gawd, but it's still entirely too gimpy.  Stop.

    Can't mess with it another second....my brain is frizzled.  Stop.

    (Or maybe that's just my hair.  Stop.)

    A change of venue is in order, immediately if not sooner.  Stop.

    Catch y'all later.  Stop.

    Carry on as you were.  Don't stop!

    Computer problems abound.  Donning my helmet in the event of a snow crash.

    Today's thought has been inspired by OneHotProcessor, who is soon off to an adventurous new life. 

    When I was 6, I sneaked and watched a movie far beyond my years.  Afterward, I vowed to all who would listen that I intended to live my life exactly   like Auntie Mame.  
   
    I'm quite proud to say that over the years, despite huge helpings of discouragement and hand-wringing from my nervous mother,  I've held true to that vow for the most part -- maybe not always, but certainly the majority of my days. 

    So thank you, Rosalind Russell.  I haven't your flair or your wickedly wonderful style, but I have managed to accomplish at least two of the things you inspired me to do:  (1) I acquired a foot-long cigarette holder years ago and use it occasionally to this day, and (2) I have delighted  in every portion of the banquet so far.....um.....except for the sushi.*

*More about the sushi years on a less inspiring day.

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 P.S.  Today is Earth Day, inspiring in itself, whut?  It is also Pappoo
& Fifi's wedding anniversary, inspirational perhaps only to me, but
a grand & glorious day nevertheless.

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And now I am inspired to shut the heck up and go do Saturday things.  Ciao and adieu & stuff......

    • Up at 0 dark thirty to drive to a faraway place for a visit with old friends. 

    • Rain and MORE rain.  Which would be an okay thing except for barreling down the Interstate amid a cluster of semis.  Naturally I had to barrel though......running late as usual.

    • The coming home part was better than the going away part or the visit part.  Do you ever do stuff like that?  Stuff you're not thrilled about doing but feel that you're a total jerk for not being thrilled about it?

    • I had some good company along for the road though.....Van Morrison, Jimmy Buffet, John Prine, Ray Charles. 

    • My arm still itches like MAD, despite mega doses of antihistimines that are making me soooo s l e e e e p y.......

    • And  sooooo  B O R I N G............(do not insert sarcastic or witty comment here)

    • But hark!  Some good news, maybe!  My elusive mechanic stopped by yesterday in response to the phone message I left him last December.  By tomorrow, Car #2 of 3 may actually be running again.  Vroom, vroom and stuff!  I'd hold my breath in anticipation, but I'm entirely too wasted.  Any second now I plan to fall asleep.......at which time I expect to start breathing again involuntarily.

    • Somebody do something interesting and leave me a comment about it, willya?

    • And wake me when it stops raining.

    • Saturday:  Easter egg hunt a couple miles down the road at the park with Amazing Grace and IamLuke.  I am pleased to announce that they are both MUCH better egg finders than their mother (Princess Prissy) ever was!  She really stunk at that!  Then we came back to Toad Hall and picked every daffodil on the place to take to Pappoo's grave.  It was a very good day.

    • Sunday -- Easter Dinner at mom-in-law's:  Disaster.  Brother-in-law brought a "friend" along who monopolized the conversation for 5 hours straight & everyone kept finding reasons to go outside.  Two friends who'd come from far away went back home after only an hour!  Said they weren't too hungry.  (insert knowing smirk here)

    PLUS, my no-good rotten stepdaughter & family were 2 hours late for dinner and needed a ride home afterward.  I crammed all 5 of 'em in the car and started driving when she announced that she had to "stop by the grocery on the way home for some cough medicine."  She didn't mention that she also need groceries.  An hour and a half later, I pulled in her driveway and she announced that she had forgotten her house key and wanted to know if I had a crowbar in the trunk so she could pry her front door open.  Gawd.  No, I did not have a crowbar in the trunk.  Too bad, because I would've liked to smack her with it.  But I did have a small screwdriver.  In lieu of stabbing her, I gave it to her husband who jimmied the bathroom window screen off.  Then we stuffed one of the daughters through, scraping all the skin off her stomach in the process.  I drove 80 mph all the way home chanting "Free at Last!  Fee at Last!  Thank Gawd Almighty I'm FREE at last!"

     But Mamaw was happy.  Late or otherwise annoying, the majority of her chickens had come to Easter Dinner.  And I'm hoping there's a special place in heaven for some of us on account of that........

    • Monday -- Taxes done.  With 5 hours to spare.  WHOO HOO!

    • Monday night -- STUNG.  My left arm looks like I've been lifting weights on one side only, and I wasn't even outside.  It itches like crazy, too!  A wayward hornet found his way to the bedroom somehow.  He's dead now.  Did I mention that my arm is about to itch off?

    • Today:  Mowing.  Drugged with mucho Benedrylo.  Everyone please send up a good thought so that I will be able to mow while asleep.